Monday, January 29, 2007

Let's sing some more songs about going blind...

Let's talk about how I didn't win the "name the plant" competition.

Last week at work, a plant was brought in that apparently had been bought at our store and that wouldn't grow. However, it started to sprout as soon as the customer left the store. (My theory: this person had some sort of hostile/iliterate/annoying home environment, and the plant recognized this only too well) We were asked to submit possible names for the sprouting plant. I came up with two that I was sure would take the prize. "Buster" and "Delilah". However, the name "Phoenix" won. Hmm. I had no idea the name had to be symbolic, and I have decided that in rebellion (and true to nature) I will secretly call the plant "Joaquin" (my Phoenix of choice!)

This weekend was an absolute plethora of "firsts", because I also did Karaoke for the first time on Saturday night. I LOVED IT! I really had a lot of fun, and am looking forward to going again. A shout out to Ben for the controversial rendition of"Longview"! My eyes will never be the same again. Also, thanks to Cody and Braden for indulging me with "Free Fallin'" (Who doesn't love Tom Petty?)

Tonight is "speed dating" for FHE, and I think I will tart myself up, so I can (in the delightful words of Joseph Opper, who if nothing else, at least keeps Relief Society interesting) "sell myself" to some lucky guy from VP or LR. Jess, aren't you sad you're not still single?

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Everything was "spicy, yet tasteful"

Big news.

I am no longer a Laser Tag Virgin. Last night I gave in to Sarah's persuasion and played the game for the first time. And...it wasn't too bad. I especially liked the part where we are all herded into a small room that was lit with a black light (which could have afforded hours of entertainment in itself), and a girl rattled off instructions at us that I didn't really hear. All I heard was "no physical contact". (This was sad as I was hoping to make out with the guy in the wizard costume). We were then taken to another room where we put on our vests, threw our microchip thingys into the "vortex"(which I think was just a bucket), and then we were off into the dark. I pretty much just ran around and got shot by other people. Towards the end I found a place to hide so I could shoot people from there, but I was really, really bad. Thankfully, I did not come in last place, but 31st out of 34 players. And some poor sap got -29 points. I squeaked through with a whopping 153!! Congratulations to Ben, Braden, and Sarah who all got more points and finished better than me.

Calgary was a lot of fun and I got my Ipod!!!! We did quite a bit of shopping, and got some great stuff. Sarah and I got a little crazy on the way home (probably the effects of the delightful "Kristian Regale") and I think Ben and Braden were a little scandalized by the belching stories. I think that we really need to start keeping a bit of the mystery. Or, maybe we are the ones turning into guys as opposed to the guys becoming girls. Perish the thought.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Although I do like suits...(only $900 ones)

All of the girls I know are too pragmatic.

I asked the question last week: Who is hotter - a law student or an Arts student?
All of the girls said law, because he's smart, ambitious, driven, blah, blah, blah... How about self-centered, egotistical, loves to hear the sound of his own voice, loves to argue... (I really don't hate lawyers, I almost was going to be one!)

Call me a dreamer, but there is something about the Arts student. He's smart, he thinks about things, he usually will discuss topics with you, he's often creative, and thanks to that ever-controversial liberal arts issue, he's well-rounded. Maybe I'm still a little in love with my English professor from days of yore, but count me in for the arts student. Plus, he can go anywhere rom there.

Anyway, I must go and prepare for the Mexican Fiesta! Ola!

Monday, January 22, 2007

he was a boi, she was a girl...

The answer to the question of the day/year, "Can you beat Ken?", is a resounding "Yes", "Oui", "Si" (or what you will)!! Of course, there are a few provisos and other tricks you must employ.

1. Forget to give Ken turns once in a while. Never mind that he is just a cardboard cut-out, he is a Jeopardy champion who deserves to make his way around the board. Although, this did work in my favor, as he never got his bonus three hundred thousand. Ha! put the H in your face Ken!

2. Forget to move Ken when the rest of the players move. I can almost hear the tiny cardboard screams as the rest of us move 3 spaces and Ken has to sit where he is. Oops!

3. Know more about Avril Lavigne than Ken. Although, I don't know much about this particular Canadian embarassment/icon, I do know the words to my least favorite song, Sk8ter Boi. (Why, Why?) Come on Ken, could it be any more...clear?

4. Vandalize the "Ken" doll with funny hair and beards, and then mock him incessantly until his cardboard confidence goes right out the window.

This blog is what happens when I have 4 hours of sleep,work, be at the mall for far too long, and then come home and get on the computer. Complete nonsense Hooray! (If only I had squiggly letters format)

Saturday, January 20, 2007

"For all the sweat that I scatter while battling..."

New Baby! New Baby!

Jessica and Adam had their baby on Wednesday. Talking to Jess, she sounded happier than I had heard her in a long time. Congratulations you guys! You will be the most wonderful parents (who will not let your children run positively wild like they do in Chapters...more later) I am thrilled to have another nephew, although I will echo Mark's sentiments to say that we need a girl. Did you hear that Andrea? That was a pointed remark just for you. Let's see if we can make it happen. I don't know if I can wait 2 weeks until I can be with Jess and Adam and the baby, so people better keep sending me pictures. I would post some on my site, but let's be honest, it is a miracle that I can even get words on here.

Today I picked up a new obsession/therapeutic activity thanks to Jade, Art Cards. You make them however you want, and then you trade them with others. I made 4 today, and I loved it. I already have plans for series of cards. Cities, cards that represent friends, ones representing a year in the life... I really loved it. Also,it was great to spend some time with Jade. She is a great girl.

O.k. things that drove me crazy at work on Friday.

1. Customers on the phone who expect you to do everything for them and more. Shopping is a leisure activity, people. Come in to the store!!! I had a lady in Medicine Hat who made me look up 15 books, find the ones we had(this is sometimes a much harder task than one would anticipate due to books not being in their proper place) ring them in for her and hold them until her boyfriend could pick them up. After this 30 minute process, the lady had the audacity to ask if someone from the store could take the books to Ric's Grill. Huh. I almost said, "You have a cab pick me up, a steak waiting there for me and we'll talk."

2.Children who trash the kids book section. Parents, we are not your baby-sitters or your maids, and when we have to discipline your children and clean up after them, we are not happy. When you don't stop your children from taking the books and leaving them everywhere, I can't find them when a customer is looking them later, then they're mad and I am even more annoyed. Get the picture. WATCH YOUR CHILDREN!

O.k., enough of the scary book lady stuff. I am off to clean my room so that I can leave my door open, let some of the warm air in, and not be ashamed.

Oh, a note from last weekend. I did got to the recital, and absolutely did have an elbow in my arm about 50 % of the time. Of course, I was elbowing a lot too. Steve's repetoire was great. Especially a group by John Beckwith called "Five Lyrics of the T'ang Dynasty". Adam and Jess, you need to check these out. However, I am not a real fan of Steve's voice. Nor his acting, which was the main reason for all of the elbowing. We also really enjoyed the old man who would come out to raise the lid of the piano, remove the music, etc. He looked kind of like someone's grandpa who was just dying to be involved. At one point there was another guy who came out at the same time as him onto the stage, and Andrew and I were anticipating a throw down (or, a brawl for it all, Denise) when the old guy looked like the young whipper-snapper was trying to usurp his authority. Oh, the joys of a University Recital!!

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Almost time for bed

"One word, two syllables: Demarcation" (Thanks Dwight!)

I have been too busy reading everyone else's posts, playing Skip-Bo with Travis and the girls, getting my hair cut, waiting for babies to be born, and contemplating being a boyfriend stealer to write for the last couple of days.

So, the haircut. I was very pleased with it until Monday when I came face to face with Andrew with the same hair as me. I got my hair cut just like his. I have reached new lows in my stalking attempts when I am trying to be my co-workers.

More tomorrow when its not 11:30 with Mary trying to go to sleep...

Monday, January 08, 2007

"You're never too old for space camp..."

Big News!

Yesterday, the ever elusive Helen Manning herself called the store to ask why her c.d. sales were down. She apparently was not a very nice person, and said about Alberta, "I thought this was the money province". I asked Judi why she didn't give Helen my home number, so I could ask Ms. Manning why she is such a loser. For those of you who don't remember my previous rants about Helen Manning, she is a woman who sells value priced c.d.s that are cheap because they are so crappy. We keep getting boxes and boxes of them, and we really don't have anywhere to put them. I am actually pretty surprised that Helen is real, I thought it was just a cover name to avoid all of the Chapters staff who have a hit out on her life. The only thing I do know about her is her apparent deep and abiding love for Tom Jones (and I don't mean the 18th century novel by Fielding). I mean "What's new Pussy cat" himself. There are more Tom Jones albums in the Helen Manning collection than we could possibly sell. Ah, C'est La Vie!

We had a great week-day eve last night with new people, too! We played "Catchphrase" which I LOVED!! We also played "Mad Gab", and I do have to acknowledge that Braden just might be the king of that game. I'll just have to placate myself with my mad "Boggle" skills...
The fireseide was really nice, and I got to be my Dad after with all the socializing. I had a fun encounter with Steven Morton, who, let's be honest, I don't know very well. He said he really enjoyed watching me sing. Hmmmm. Not really sure how to take that... Anyway, he invited me to his recital, which I will be attending with...Andrew. Yay, I foresee much muffled laughter and a permanent elbow in the ribs.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Maybe she thought I knew every book in the store...

So I bought a present for someone, and then never gave it to him/her. Not for any sinister reason, just didn't see this person before I went home for Christmas. That really is an irrelevant detail, but a quasi-amusing introduction to today's post. The present was a book (Ah! how original! I am a literary peddlar and I was going to give a book for Christmas) called "The Little Book of Crap Advice" (It was a mini-book, but the "New Bigger Edition", so there!) So now that this officially a Christmas present to me (yay), I feel no guilt reading it, and will even share some of my favorite parts.

"Remember, fat people are harder to kidnap"

"The best way to a man's heart is to saw his chest open"

"Attack by a buzzard: Get a hobby! Buzzards are only attracted to dead meat."

"Remember the nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people"

"If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague"

"Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak"

"Fool people into thinking you are enlightened by smiling enigmatically whenever anyone punches you in the face"

And, now here is some advice from me. Crap or not, it would be well for all if taken seriously.
When I am in the bathroom at work and in the stall, (o.k., this mostly applies to the female population of Lethbridge, although I have had to see men in that bathroom peeing with the stall door open more than I care to) please, please, please do not ask me if we have a certain book in stock, even if I am wearing my vest at the time. This displeases me for the following reasons:

1. I'm going to the bathroom. yeah.

2. I do not have a secret computer in the stall. That would be gross, and if discovered, would probably be used for less than scrupulous means...

3. I know you really need help, and I know I'm probably just being greedy, but I consider that 90 seconds my time away from you.

4. Talking to a complete stranger while peeing is slightly awkward.

Did this happen? yes. Was it creepy? yes. Did this customer ask me later if I knew anyone who needed a massage therapist? yes. Did I volunteer myself? ...

Anyway, I am home sick again from work today. I was going to go, but I apparently looked and sounded so bad last night, that my boss rearranged schedules so I could stay home. It was probably a good thing because last night when I couldn't find a book that we apparently had 3 copies of, I nearly broke down crying. Anyway, I watched a movie today that I forgot how much I love. "Melinda and Melinda". I enjoyed it again immensely. The cast is fantastic, the writing great (It's a Woody Allen, one of the only ones I've seen)and Will Ferrell is absolutely delightful in it. Everyone should watch this movie.

Hope to be feeling better tomorrow!!

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Sick Jenny also muses

I have to say, the 2006 soundtracks were such a good idea. As I have been listening to Denise and Ginger's music, I have really seen a bit of their hearts. There is something so powerful about music and great lyrics, we really let them say the things we could never be brave enough to say out loud. Even listening to my own choices has made me see myself as a hopeless romantic. Huh. You can try to be as brave and as strong as you like, but the truth always comes out in the end, and the truth about me (and my love of power ballads) came out with "Fix You" by Cold Play.

Back to work today, and I still feel like crap. I really hope that I am able to sing by Sunday for the fireside. How do I always end up getting roped into these things?

Hope 2007 is great for everyone so far!!

Monday, January 01, 2007

Just about time for my hourly call to Danny...

Boo! 2007 is starting with me being sick as a dog. I wondered briefly this morning at 3:00am as I was shivering madly under a thousand blankets if I have the Norwalk(?) virus, but Mary assures me that I do not. She says I would be logging a lot more bathroom time. Argh, I really am such a whiner when I'm sick. Dear Denise, maybe you need to come and diagnose me!!

Last night we went to Danny's house for a New Year's party, where, as per usual, there were about 1 gazillion girls and maybe 7 guys. I was so impressed with the food and drink until I found out that girls had come to their house, cleaned and prepared all the food. Who are these girls? Don't you have enough trouble cleaning your own houses? Do you have self respect? I know I am probably being bitter that no guys ask me to come and clean their house... No wait, I'm glad. Although, maybe that is the way to get a date - become an indentured servant. Hooray. Just another one of the reasons I can stomach being single.

Actually the party was pretty fun, except for my least favorite game of all time, "If you love me, smile." It brings out all of my insecurities, and I'll be the first to admit that I was the definite party-pooper in that game. The night did turn into a dance party, which was great because although I am embarassed to do a lot of things, dancing is not one of them. I am perfectly willing to make a complete ass of myself on the dance floor, or really anywhere there is music playing (re: scary hair flip during my attempts to make some guy smile...) At almost 12 we headed over to the other house to watch the countdown on the big screens where I was hugged twice by Danny (Oh, joy of my life).

2007: I am pretty excited for a new year. I am (somewhat) motivated to look for a real job, ready to start a regime of eating and exercise (oh the thought of clothes shopping as a positive experience!!) I am also looking forward to our Relief Society challenge of reading the Book of Mormon, I echo Denise's sentiments that this is what the Lord needs us to do right now.

I have actually expended all of my energy, so I need to go lie down and possibly die. If you don't hear from me, I will be laying on the couch, watching "Rushmore".

Yay. Oh, funny story. Yesterday, Danny gave me his new cell phone number even though I have never called him in my life.