Mostly a movie review

My promised post is a few days late, but it is the holidays after all. I would have written last night after work, but I went and saw "Australia" instead. I thought it was great, and I will say that Hugh Jackman really lived up to his "Sexiest Man of the Year" title. Yowsers! He was dirty, bossy, emotionally unavailable for the first 3/4, then teary-eyed and driven by a sense of justice for the last bit. The movie itself was big and had elements western, romance, comedy, and war-time action. At times it seemed to be trying to be too many things, but on the whole, the central themes tied it together. I think I loved it so much because it reminded me a lot of "The Man from Snowy River" with its sweeping shots of the landscape, and the afore-mentioned combination of romance, action, etc... It definitely had some of Baz Lurhman trademarks, especially some of the camera shots, and the story-telling elements. I will absolutely be seeing it again.

Well, Christmas is over, and it is time to start a new year. I have finished my "Year in Review" cd, and will be posting a track listing next week.

Here is the poem that I mentioned in conjunction with the e.e. cummings. On another reading, it isn't as much like his poem as I thought, but I still think it was weird that I had never read his before I wrote mine. Maybe I am being too fanciful, and they are not similar at all. Anyway, I wrote this poem in December 2005.


Trees for Sale

Standing in lines
taller and tallerest
kings of the motley lot.
Missing arms and fingers
lend a desperate air
to their straight shoulders and spines
limbs, some bent and sparse,
reach out to embrace
someone for Christmas-
my throat catches at their dignity
especially the ones
who were missed last year
praying these twelve months
will only have made them more-
these are the quietest and heart-achingly proudest.

But it is the little ones
I love the best
standing beside the kings
with unformed branches
truly green
in this cruel buy and sell world
knowing they will never measure up
but plucking up chins anyhow
hoping that somewhere
they will appeal to
the small ones of the world
People like me
who also ride this life
rooted close to the earth.

If I had a house
I would take them all,
line them up in every corner
let them take off their strained
"please love me" smiles
and give them something shiny to wear-
anything to erase the bright
searing memory of the saw,
the screaming realization
of what it means to be chosen
(things they never told you)
and the slow death
of fulfilling their destinies.

JKO, 2005

...a Good Night

So here I am on Christmas Eve...my absolute favorite day of the year. There is a feeling of anticipation, the presents are still gloriously mysterious and full of promises, there is much baking and making of caramels, an appetizer supper, and a general feeling of relaxation because all of my presents are wrapped, and I have two days off in a row. Heaven!

Yes, my presents are wrapped, and they look glorious. I splurged and bought wrapping paper and wired ribbon from my favorite new haunt, Costco. Because the paper was a bit more expensive, it wrapped up a treat and creased beautifully in all the right places. It also helped that I took about 1.5 hours to wrap about 8 gifts. Finished off with the ribbon, the gifts look absolutely elegant. The paper is a textured gold, and the ribbon is a striped green and gold (go Golden Bears!)

Here is something kind of weird. Because Christmas falls on a Thursday this year, I was looking to resurrect the old Poetry day with a seasonal poem. I found a Christmas poem by e.e. cummings the other day that I really liked. The weird part is that I wrote a poem about three years ago that is really similar. Both poems are about Christmas trees, and there are some themes and lines that are too close for comfort. I had never read the cumings poems before, and I wrote mine while travelling on a greyhound bus, looking out at a field that contained rows of spruce trees. I of course don't have the poem with me, but I will post it tomorrow so you can see how it compares to the one I am posting today. Am I just crazy? Please read tomorrow and weigh in if you so desire.

little tree

by E. E. Cummings

little tree

little silent Christmas tree

you are so little

you are more like a flower

who found you in the green forest

and were you very sorry to come away?

see i will comfort you

because you smell so sweetly

i will kiss your cool bark

and hug you safe and tight

just as your mother would,

only don't be afraid

look the spangles

that sleep all the year in a dark box

dreaming of being taken out and allowed to shine,

the balls the chains red and gold the fluffy threads,

put up your little arms

and i'll give them all to you to hold

every finger shall have its ring

and there won't be a single place dark or unhappy

then when you're quite dressed

you'll stand in the window for everyone to see

and how they'll stare!

oh but you'll be very proud

and my little sister and i will take hands

and looking up at our beautiful tree

we'll dance and sing

"Noel Noel"

So, I am off to bed.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all...

Just when you thought you knew me

I really am addicted to these quizzes/questionnaires. So, if you will indulge me, here is a pretty fun one:

A

- Available: I think the real question is: when am I not?
- Age: old enough to know better
- Annoyance: sound of my high heels on the dry snow
- Animal: cat
- Actor: Christian Bale
- Actress: Kate Winslet

B
- Birthplace: Cardston, Alberta
- Best Friend: That would be my lovely roommate...Denise
- Body Part on opposite sex: legs
- Best feeling in the world: the one I get when I am singing
- Best weather: light jacket weather...it is all about the layering!
- Been in Love: Yes
- Believe in God: Yes
- Believe in Ghosts: Yes
- Believe in Evolution: I believe that things are always changing and evolving

C
- Candy: Rockets...ah, Halloween delight
- Colour: all shades of blue
- Cried in school: Almost everyday in Junior High. It is all about the bathroom.
- Chocolate/Vanilla: Vanilla
- Chinese/Mexican: Mexican

D
- Day or Night: Day
- Dream vehicle: a BMW
- Dance: when I get the chance
- Dance in the rain?: Not as of yet, but there is always hope
- Do the splits?: Uh, no.

E
- Eggs: omelet
- Eyes: blue

F
- First crush: His name was Dade and it was in grade three
- First thoughts waking up: Do people actually think first thing in the morning?
- Food: Anything Jess and Adam make that doesn't have the blue cheese
- Fear: the dark
- Favourite channel: Food Network

G
- Greatest Fear: finding a dead body...pretty irrational, I know!
- Giver or taker: A little of both
- Get along with your parents?: Yes
- Good luck charm: as of late? My sparkly Le Chateau shoes

H
- Hair Colour: brown
- Height: about 5' 2'' (on a good day)
- Happy: Yes
- Holiday: Christmas
- How do you want to die: not in any way that would be embarrassing to tell for the rest of eternity.
- Health freak?: I aspire to be
- Hate: being patronized...especially when people tell me to calm down. Try it. I dare you.

I
- Ice Cream: anything cherry
- Instrument: piano

J
- Job: facilitator with Inclusive Post-Secondary Education at Lethbridge College and peddler of the books at Chapters
- Juggle?: No

K
- Kickboxing: No, but I have always wanted to learn
- Karate: no
- Keep a journal?: yes

L
- Longest Car Ride: Lethbridge to Bryce Canyon, Utah
- Laughed so hard you cried: No, but definitely laughed until I couldn't breathe
- Love at first sight: no way...it is all about personality
- Last person out for dinner with: Travis

M
- Milk flavor: chocolate
- Movie: Just one? "The Man from Snowy River"
- Mooned anyone?: No
- Marriage?: Depends on who's asking
- Motion sickness: Yes. Oh, my yes.

N
- Number of Siblings: 4
- Number of Piercings: just my ears
- Never: date someone just because you're lonely

O
- Overused Phrases: Snappers
- One wish: to travel all over Europe
- One phobia: spiders

P
- Place you'd like to live: England
- Perfect Pizza: my mom's cheeseburger pizza
- Pepsi/Coke: Neither

Q
-Quote: "Be the change you want to see in the world" - Gandhi
"I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it" - Lucille Bluth

R
- Reason to cry: broken heart
- Reality TV.: I. hate. it. so. much. I. could. punch. it. in. the. face.
- Radio Station: CBC 2

S
- Song: Seriously! Just one? "Looking for Someone" - Sarah Slean
- Shoe size: 8
- Salad Dressing: Dijon mustard vinaigrette
- Sushi: yes. Especially 7-11 sushi
- Scent: grapefruit
- Skipped school:yes
- Slept outside: is there anywhere else to sleep in the summer?
- Skinny dipped? Absolutely
- Sing well?: Sure
- In the shower? I always sing in the shower
- Swear?: only in my head
- Stuffed Animals?: a chicken and a Panda
- Strawberries/Blueberries/Raspberries: Yes/yes/yes
- Slept in a bed beside you? only Jessica

T
- Thunderstorms: both terrify me and make me happy
- Touch your tongue to your nose?: no

U
- Unpredictable: I don't think so. My friends and family seem to know what I will do at any given time

V
- Vegetable you hate: Brussel sprouts
- Vegetable you love: Everything but brussel sprouts
- Vacation spot: New York! Best trip ever!

W
- Weakness: men with a great sense of humour
- When you grow up: I will live in the city and have more shoes than I know what to do with
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you: I don't know if I would wish that on anyone
- Who makes you laugh the most: Jessica
- Worst feeling: waiting

X
- X-Rays: I have a vague memory of wearing a lead vest

Y
-Year it is now: 2008
-Yellow: love it

Z
- Zoo animal: giraffe
- Zodiac Sign: Taurus

- Zodiac sign: Taurus

"Hey, I can reach the tap now for the very first time today"

"I wonder if I'm growing, I wonder if I'm growing? My mom says yes, I'm growing, but its hard for me to see!" -Raffi

Not only do those lines from Raffi (including the title of today's post) make me tear up a little, but they equal truth. I have a hard time feeling like a grown-up most days, but as I started to write this post, I started to see some things about my life this year.

Last week I officially became an adult. How? you may ask. Well I will tell you. The answer is that I got a Costco membership. Yes! My very own!! No longer will I have to rely on the kindness of others (Thanks, Braden!) or wait until someone is going so that I can revel in the delightfulness that is Lethbridge Costco. Samples! Books! DVDs! Yam Fries! Occasionally, mini-doughnuts!! There are, of course good and bad points to this acquisition. The good points are all mentioned above. The bad aspect (o.k., there is only one!) is that I will spend way too much money there. I have a hard enough time controlling myself when I am not driving the cart. I will probably need some sort of supervision, so if you ever need to go, please let me know and we will go together. My only stipulation is that you have to at least attempt to discourage me from buying one or more of the following:

1. a Kitchen-aid (sp?)
2. the entire series of "Gilmore Girls"
3. a black-forest cake if there is no discernible gathering approaching
4. a life-size singing Santa
5. a trampoline
6. a box of chocolate bars
7. a Lobster roll

Getting the membership was part of my year long transition to adulthood. This year I got a new adult-type job, I bought a car, I travelled to Europe by myself, I moved to a Family Ward, and I am learning to wrap a present so it doesn't look like it was done by a blind man with only 3 fingers. Denise and I were talking about how the theme of 2008 was "Change the fate", and as I look back, I did just that. Pretty exciting. I often used to think that we have to become the person we aspire to all at once, that it would just happen. I am starting to realize that it is possibly an evolution instead of a transformation.

Thanks for all of the support in 2008, I really couldn't have gotten to where I was without your help. Here's hoping that we will all get the chance to grow a little more in 2009. If anyone has any suggestions for a title/theme for next year, let me know.

Here are some (pretty darn awesome) ideas:

2009

"The stars for me will shine"
"This year is mine"
"The journey is mine"
"This year will be fine"

Talk to you soon!

If you show it, they will come

I had a bit of an epiphany today...it all begins with a little story. I was watching a movie in the cave today with one of the students. There was not really any one else in there, but that was due, I am sure, to what movie it was. (I am too embarrassed to admit that I watched it, albeit, only the last half, so the title shall not be revealed) When it was finished, the (really tall and oddly attractive) guy from the Student Association came to put in the second movie of the day, and it turned out to be the brand-spanking-new release "The Dark Knight". As the movie got underway, I noticed an interesting phenomenon start to occur. Guys started appearing out of nowhere to watch. They just kept streaming in, and even bunched up on the couches together.

So, epiphany? If you want to find the men, go to the Superhero movies. The darker and grittier, the better. If you want them to come to you, you should probably buy the movie, and then casually let it be known you have it. If my calculations are correct, you will hopefully have the men-folk beating down your door within the hour. Try it out and let me know!

Once again it has been a disgracefully long amount of time since I wrote anything. (I do not count yesterday's post as it wasn't really original) Here is some of what I have been doing

1. taking the expression "mutton dressed as lamb" to heart. I attended Denise's Ward Christmas party, and semi-pretended that I was still young enough to be there. The food was great, but the entertainment was... interesting. I will not say more, but I will testify that there were many moments of unintentional comedy, which we all know is the best kind. There were at least 3 moments where Denise and I clasped hands in shared amusement/agony. I will say that I didn't know it was possible to sing the verses of "Leaving on a Jet plane" in 3 different keys, but the chorus always in tune.

2. working with a new student. She is a lot of fun, but pretty crazy as well.

3. eating at the Keg. Seriously, I have eaten there twice in the last 2 weeks. The first time was fraught with peril . We had to wait for an hour, I didn't get my salad, and my steak came well-done and then when I sent it back, rare. (I took it home and out it in the GF grill for about 4 minutes, and had the most beautifully cooked medium-rare steak for Sunday morning breakfast.) The second trip was with the Managers a couple of nights ago. This time my steak was delicious, and we were regaled with some quasi-risque stories from one of the ladies. Ah, it was enjoyable to watch Travis squirm upon hearing Jo's descriptions...

4. Going to Calgary to watch Cam in the "Messiah". She did a wonderful job on her solo, and Greg and I were treated to the delightfully disgusting sight of a boy throwing up in to his father's hands and the floor during the Hallelujah chorus.

5. Singing in the Telethon!! After Dad "lost his voice" on the morning of the blessed event, we had to completely re-work our program, and so it was a bit of a gong-show getting some numbers together. But, in true Olsen fashion, it came off with only minor hitches that we breezed right over. "Dignity. Always dignity."

6. Substituting one habit for another. I am giving "Scrubs" a break, and thoroughly enjoying "30 Rock", and "Sports Night" (for about the 4th time through)

Have a great week, everyone.

Kill me, another quiz...

Sorry for the "template" today, but work is really actually busy these days. Hopefully I will have some real live updates for you any day! But, in the meantime, here are a few things you might not have known. If you did, then too bad.

Where is your cell phone: On my desk beside me now… I just got 4 new messages in about an hour because my phone was on vibrate in my bag.

Your boyfriend/girlfriend: Is either dead or hasn’t got the memo yet.

Your hair: got a cut on Saturday and is looking particularly fantastic.

The room you're in: is my office. Bigger than Denise’s, but also windowless.

Your fears: the dark, finding a dead body in any natural body of water, spiders, needles, and the possibility of being under-dressed for any occasion.

Where did you hang out last night: At the “First Presidency Christmas Devotional” broadcast, playing Pres. Monson bingo with Denise (she won with “widows”, whereas my choice of “Canada” was completely overlooked), and then to “The Keg” for a manager’s dinner. Ah, Crème Brulee…they name is indeed delicious.

What are you not good at: wearing appropriate footwear, brushing the snow off my car (...although, that could have something to do with the fact that the brush cost 2.99, and was purchased at 7-11), turning off the t.v. when I am watching Scrubs, cleaning my room, giving up on a hopeless situation

What are you wearing: my uniform, as of late: a black cardigan, camisole, and jeans.

Your mood: cautiously optimistic

Missing: a few signatures from instructors for students’ audit forms

Your car: is a blessing in the winter. I do not miss the bus.

Your favourite colour :is pink…"Think pink!”

What is your salad dressing of choice: either Asian sesame, or a mustard vinaigrette I made myself

What food could you eat everyday and not get sick of it: Sandwiches

What are your pizza toppings of choice: cheese, cheese, cheese

Which of your five senses you think is keenest: Smell. I could really take this “talent” on the road and be a superhero by smelling things like chemical warfare or dirty villains

When was the last time you had a cavity: probably right now…I really need to go to the Dentist

What colour do you think looks best on you: either Royal blue or a very vivid fuchsia

Where to now: if I knew that, I would probably already be there…