Friday, June 20, 2008

I am the captain of my soul

I don't know if the new apartment is not conducive to writing, or if I am just running a little low on the creative/motivational juices because it has been a long time since I have put fingers to the keys and entertained y'all. But, here I am on a Friday night with nothing to do but blog. Depressing? You bet.

I better start by talking about the new apartment. So, in true fashion..

1. We live in a tree. We are like the "Swiss Family Robinson" without the annoying younger know-it-all brother, Ernst. (Seriously, could that guy be any more irritating?) Actually, there is a large pine tree outside our window, and so it only feels like we are living in a tree. Heck, a girl can dream, can't she? The best part of said tree is that in the winter it will be like we are living in a Christmas Tree!! Actually, the best part of the tree is how it keeps our apartment ridiculously cool...

2. We have no cupboard space in the kitchen, so it is a good thing we don't have a lot of kitchen stuff.

3. We have a killer balcony that is so big, that it is about half the size of our living room. We just need to get some lawn chairs, and we can spend every night on the proverbial "front porch", if the front porch is an awesome balcony that is basically in a tree.

4. Our windows have screens in them!! This is especially favorable because it means that I can sleep with my windows open, and not have to get up three times in the morning to kill the wasps who have come in.

5. We live on the North side. This was never more apparent then when I was trying to fall asleep last night at 2:00 am and there were some guys in our parking lot who were trying to make the world's worst you-tube video. What I heard was extremely loud clomping and then a voice yelling "Record me running on top of all these cars!!" Class. Right there. You just don't get those kind of shenanigans on the south side. Over there its just the "Beating up your girlfriend show" with my favorite follow-ups, "Let's smoke pot all night in the house", and "The world's most dysfunctional relationship, otherwise known as Jarett and Jen". And, of course, who could forget the Saturday morning Sex Show? Yeah... I'll take "guy running on the hood of my car in pursuit of good clean fun" any day. At least that way I am not alternately getting the munchies and trying not to vomit.

So these days my life is pretty darn boring. Mostly because I am now officially out of YSA (yes, 31 will do that to you...), and also because I am grossly poor. I end up working, watching movies, eating, working again, watching Scrubs, eating, working... you get the picture. This singular life style has had a bit of an effect on my happiness, let alone my waistline. I am starting to develop a fear that I will never meet the person I am supposed to be with, or even someone to date. This fear stems from a few factors: My advancing age and the lack of older men in Lethbridge, and my not so stellar career path with Student loans to boot. Couple this fear with a raging case of Summer heat, and you've got one unhappy girl.

So...as I lay on the couch this evening feeling a bit sorry for myself, I realized something. We make our own happiness. As a very wise man once said, "No one can make you feel anything. If you make up your mind to have a good time, you will." Now my dad was talking ostensibly about Stake Dances, but I have seen him put this advice into action in his own life: Therefore, I know that it is applicable to more than feelings of teenage insecurity about being a wall-flower.

What can I do to feel good about my life? What makes me happy? Well, here are a few things:

-Singing
-Reading
-Finding a really good salad dressing
-living in a tree
-The Sword and the Stone...Disney style
-being a hostess
-cooking
-walking
-my Family
-pyjama pants
-franglaise
-movies
-Boggle
-my hair straightener
-"la fille aux cheveux de lin"

I guess the answer to my ennui is thus: cook a few great meals, read some amazing books, learn to play some Debussy, plan a great party, get my Boggle on, and wait for my boys to come so I can be surrounded by males who will not be afraid if I happen to touch them.

Be happy, everyone. Move to the North side. And, most of all,

please-

please.

Go to church.

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