I like shiny things, candy, and guys who don't want to date me

Reasons why I am the dead monkey...

Oh. My. Word.

The new Rufus Wainwright album is wonderful. As usual, there are some lyrics that absolutely kick me right in the guts. Here are a few said lines:

"Do I disappoint you just being human?" (Do I Disappoint You). This line speaks so much about how I am always comparing myself to other people, and wishing I was different - skinnier, smarter, pretty, younger, etc. But really, as my new-found mantra goes: "I can't be anyone I'm not, I can only be better at who I am"

"You took advantage of a world that loves you well/I'm going to a town that has already been burned down" (Going to a Town) How many times do we hold onto things, or people, who are not going to give us what we need?

"But you will never lose your heart with those little boy blues" (Nobody's off the hook)

"You should be held. But I'm not ready to." (Not Ready to Love)

"You have locked all your assets up in lifelong contracts to you" (Release the Stars)

It is a good time to be listening to introspective music because I am really trying to figure out how to move ahead in my life. I feel like I'm holding on to things that are easy and comfortable, but that aren't helping me to grow and develop into the person I want to be. I am putting my faith in things that are never going to happen, and why do I do this?

On a happier note, I have registered for a conference in Calgary which is specifically for Single Adults, ages 25-35. I am very excited !! This is not as scary as the 30+ scene, which I'm sure everyone will remember, caused me a great amount of anxiety. I am making a goal right now that I will take every opportunity at the conference to meet new people, have a great time, and make out with some awesome guy. (Only kind of kidding about that last part. At least it won't be in a van...) (I'm sorry, I still love you!! You're the classiest person I know!!)

I hope everyone has a great Wednesday, and that all of you who are sick will feel better soon. I don't like to see you suffer, and more importantly, you better not make me sick, too. However, you know where you can come for awesome kleenex.