At least he found someone not so "quietly dignified to talk to...she'll never disappoint there.

O.k., Christina Aguilera's "Still Dirrty" is an absolute guilty pleasure. Oh, yeah. It also gives a completely skewed representation of women and sexuality (listen to the words..) and just may be the dirrtiest song around. And yet...I am listening to it right now. Yeah.

On a more quietly dignified note, I tried said "quiet dignity" this Sunday at church...and it translated to "boring". My friends gave the impression that the experience of talking to "appropriate Jenny" was like unto the extraction of teeth...yup, even the friend who is always saying he should be more "quietly dignified" couldn't get away from me fast enough. Am I discouraged? Nay. It is a lofty goal to be silly but not rude...but like the good Olsen girl I am, I will do my best to persevere.

Work at the Chapters is about as crazy as ever, and has also brought me to a very important revelation:

If I were to die tomorrow, and could impart a few pieces of wisdom, they would be thus:

1. If you are watching Oprah and you see a book being presented, please, please, please (this is absolutely imperative so pay attention) please call your local book store IMMEDIATELY. Not an hour from now, not a day from now and definitely not a week from now. The book will be gone. It will. I am sorry to tell you this, but Oprah's power knows no physical or metaphysical bounds, and the book will be gone if you do not act now. I am tired of dealing with people who are so flabbergasted when they find out a book they saw on Oprah LAST WEEK is sold out. Guess what? You are not the only one watching this show. Shocking.

2. As a lowly "peddler of literary products", I have no control over the prices of books. What? A mere peon does not have financial clout at a multi-million dollar company? Astounding. So, to you...people (I use the term loosely. I am wont to say cretins.) who come in and complain (let your voice get progressively louder as you express your disapproval, throw books at me, slam your money down on the counter or wave it in my face) please let me assure you that the publishers have the complete control of prices, and if Heather Reisman can't change the prices, I certainly can't. And another thing. When I tell you the situation and offer you an address you can write to to complain to the actual perpetrators of this heinous crime, and you say "No, I don't think I will", I get the sneaking suspicion that you are 1. so lazy that you can't actually do something that will actually make a difference, and 2. A jerk who just likes to make him/herself feel better by bullying, belittling and patronizing me.

So. A little rage. I apologize to all of you, gentle readers. I had a rage-induced day in MyBooks where Satan's children came to visit. No, sorry, that is an insult to the Devil. These children would have made even him shocked. The best part of this was when I told a woman her child was intentionally hurting other children and she gave ME a death look. I'm sorry that you are a bad mother and I called you on it.

So, I am going to stop before I kill someone. I have whipped myself into a veritable frenzy of rage, and the only cure is Heroes. Hooray!!

Ciao Bella!!