This weekend was quite action-packed, and even included some "classic Jenny". I will start on Thursday night, when I attended the play at the University with Braden. I really enjoyed the first half of the play, and moderately enjoyed the second half. The second act was slower, and introduced more themes that really didn't further the plot, or the character development. As for the lead roles, the guy who played Fritz Haber was just too smug for my liking. The character was extremely prideful and stubborn, but the actor was just too...smug. He also bore a remarkable resemblance to David Cross, which I didn't really notice until the intermission when Braden said he didn't love Tobias in the role. Thanks to him for that, because the it was all I could think about throughout the second act. The man who played Einstein, I liked a bit better. I thought he was more expressive. What I did like about the play was the theme about the use of scientific inventions for evil or destructive purposes. The main character, Fritz Haber, was a chemist in Germany during the first half of the 20th century. It was his invention of chlorine gas that was used in the first world war. There was an extremely powerful scene in the play where the gas is used for the first time at the battle of Ypres. Haber comes across a german soldier who is poisoned. He holds him in his arms as he is dying form the gas. I was really moved becuase I have read quite a bit of poetry by both Wilfred Owen and Siegfred Sassoon. They both talk about the use of chlorine gas (Also, see the poem in the last post) and their imagery is so vivid, that I have always felt such a tangible horror whenever I read about the battles. The scene was chaotic, loud, and evoked the fear the Allies must have felt when they experienced the gas for the first time.

Friday, I worked at Chapters, and then saw the movie "Eagle Eye", and... Meh. Shia Leboeuf didn't have any real opportunity to act, and the premise of the film was just a little too far-fetched for me. Also, too many car chases and explosions. I was pretty bored by the excessive "action" . Beisdes, the real action of Friday night happened after the movie when I locked my keys in the car at 7-11!! I stopped to get something to eat, and the events that transpired were clearly a punishment for even attempting to consume any of the "food" there. So, I pulled in just after midnight, and there was a veritable mob of reprobates just hanging outside the door. I started rooting in my purse, and the next thing I knew, I was standing outside of the car, looking in at my keys in the ignition, and my cell-phone on the seat. I walked home, freaked out to poor Denise, and them called Dad, who had to be up in about 4 hours for a temple shift. He directed me through using a hanger to try to flip the lock switch, but the hanger kept bending, it didn't really fit between the door and the car, and I was getting hungrier by the minute. I gave up after 20 minutes,and Denise called AMA. The guy came in about 10 minutes, and opened the door in about 30 seconds. Amazing!! We praised him to the skies, and went home. Unfortunately I did not learn my lesson, and took home "food" to eat. I was extremely repentant the next morning when I had a terrible Jumbo Juicy hang-over...

Sunday was the ever popular, much beloved third annual Denise Garner apple taste Test. A wonderful time was had by all! The general winner was the Honey Crisp apple, but I went against the grain and chosde the Jazz as my favorite. It had the perfect amounts of crunch, sweetness and tartness. Delightful.

Anyway, here is hoping that this week will provide as much entertainment as the last!

Ciao!

Belated poetry hype...

Today is Thursday which means a few fantastic things. First, and most excitedly, it means Poetry day here! Yay! Be prepared, it’s going to be an awesome one. Second, it is a good day for Denise, because her family gets a letter from Eric on Thursdays. Third and fourth, which are both specific to this week only, I don’t have to work, and I am attending a play tonight at the University. It is called “Einstein’s Gift”, by the Canadian playwright, Vern Thiessen, and I have been reading a few reviews of it this morning. It sounds interesting and extremely thought-provoking. I will give my own review tomorrow, so stay tuned!

Anyway, here is a poem that has similar themes to the play.

Dulce et Decorum Est

Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,

Knock kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge

Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs

And towards our distant rest began to trudge.

Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots

But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame, all blind,

Drunk with fatigue, deaf even to the hoots

Of gas shells dropping softly behind.

Gas! Gas! Quick boys! An ecstasy of fumbling,

Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time;

But someone still was yelling out and stumbling,

And flound'ring like a man in fire or lime...

Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light,

As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.

In all my dreams, before my helpless sight,

He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.

If in some smothering dreams you too could pace

Behind the wagon that we flung him in,

And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,

His hanging face, like a devils sick of sin

If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood

Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,

Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud

Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues, -

My friend, you would not tell with such zest

To children ardent for some desperate glory,

The Old Lie: Dulce et decorum est

Pro patria mori.*

*It is sweet and fitting to die for one's country

Likes and not-really-likes

I was thinking last night about what I like and what I do not enjoy about the College.

Things I like:
Mondays…Criminal Justice Mondays. I know they are young, but it is enjoyable to see all of the guys in the program dressed up. Really brightens up a gloomy Monday
The Cafeteria. The sandwiches are fantastic, and the garlic toast is made by the angels, I think. The breakfasts are also something to sing about.
The Cave. For all of you who don’t know the Lethbridge College very well, The Cave is the LC Student Association general hangout. There are extremely comfortable couches, a big screen t.v., a concession, ping-pong tables (where I have embarrassed myself to the extreme), and various tables. On Wednesdays, the SA have had different food for sale (tomorrow is pizza), or when we are really lucky, Free Hot-dogs!!! Bring back free hot-dogs!!
The size of the College. As part of my job, I am generally running from place to place to meet up with a student or colleague, and the fact that the college is not overly big is a real plus. It is big enough, however, to make me feel like I am getting a pretty good work-out.
The Child and Youth Care class I am attending with a student. The lab is so much fun, that I feel bad that I am essentially being paid to attend. So far, we have made food in one of the labs (I got to take a ton home!), and modge-podge frames the other. Awesome!! Next week we are playing volley-ball…Oh, it is a hard life I do lead!

Things I do not enjoy
Obnoxious students loudly telling their friends (and everyone around them) about their various sexcapades. Boo. I do not want to hear about this. Especially when the guy telling the stories is so hideously ugly, that it is not overly believable that he has a girlfriend. Really, I don’t know who would have touched him with a ten-foot pole (“Not with two ten-foot poles”!).
The new motto of the College, “Proud to be new’d”. Who are we trying to attract with this theme? It is pretty unclassy, and it seems to me that many people here are looking for ways to class up the place. I just realized that my key chain has the motto on it. Yeah.
Standing in lines to register. As I had to register my students one class at a time, (The instructors would never get back to me!!) I had to stand in the lines at the Registrar about 10 times, with about a 20-30 minute wait most of those times. Seriously. We are in the 21st Century. Online Registration, anyone? The rumour is that it will be happening soon…


So, things here are pretty good. I can’t complain, much.

Have a wonderful day, one and all!!

Friday!!! Friday!!

The exciting news for today is that I now have business cards. If I was a real office pro, and had I the equipment to facilitate my desires, I would scan one and post it here. However, none of my office dreams are coming true today. Except for the name cards. And the new printer I still need to hook up (IT?) And the chance to use my beautiful and stylish “Cherry Blossoms sticky notes” which I purchased at Chapters with the anticipation of leaving myself many tiny notes.

So, yes, my business cards are wonderful, and they also validate my existence a bit. Seriously! If only there was another Raymond parade so I could hand them out to former classmates as if to say “Hah! I may not be married, but I am at least now moderately successful. See? Here is the fit-in-your-wallet-sized proof. Facilitator? I know, that does sound fancy, doesn’t it?” As mentioned in a previous post, the cards say “Jenny Olsen, B.A”. Now I don’t even have to mention that to people, they can just read it. Oh, it is so nice to know that my almost worthless Arts degree is now putting itself to work by making me look professional.

I am right now looking at a picture that says “Attitude: What happens to a man is less significant than what happens within him.” Yes, there is an inspirational poster on my wall. It isn’t mine, but I am considering getting one for myself. Maybe several to festoon the walls in a veritable feel-good gallery. I am sorry for any of you who enjoy the motivational pictures…I may just be too much of a cynic. Actually, I am thinking about bringing a picture of Jesus, and a sign that says “I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it” (That is for you, E.A.G.) Or, even better, a copy of the poem “Footprints”. And a machine that simulates the sound of the ocean.

I am ridiculously glad that it is the weekend, and I am spending tomorrow getting my hair cut and coloured, buying home organization goodies and then finally putting my bedroom in order, doing some laundry, getting some snacks for Nursery (we are running out) and then spending the evening with Ginger watching a movie. It is going to be awesome!

Have a good weekend, everyone. Here’s hoping you get the chance to do something just for you.

Eat well. Read a book. Get some sleep.

Go to church.

I am reading too much poetry because Denise has the back-bone this week, and I just can't say no

Here are a couple of poems for Thursday...the Shel Silverstein because he is awesome, and not scary. (Besides, who doesn't love pirates?)

The second one is here because Neruda is a poet I am just starting to read.

Have a smashing day, everyone!


It's Dark in Here by Shel Silverstein

I am writing these poems
From inside a lion,
And it's rather dark in here.
o please excuse the handwriting
Which may not be too clear.
But this afternoon by the lion's cage
I'm afraid I got too near.
And I'm writing these lines
From inside a lion,
And it's rather dark in here.

I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You by Pablo Neruda

I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.

I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.

In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.

too much for one day?

I know it is not Poetry day, but I am at the college, and needed a place to paste this poem. It is by one of my favorite poets.

I Am Not Yours

I am not yours, not lost in you, Not lost, although I long to be Lost as a candle lit at noon, Lost as a snowflake in the sea.
You love me, and I find you still A spirit beautiful and bright, Yet I am I, who long to be Lost as a light is lost in light.
Oh plunge me deep in love -- put out My senses, leave me deaf and blind, Swept by the tempest of your love, A taper in a rushing wind.

-Sara Teasdale

Don't judge me

I have a question: Is it o.k. to feel lonely?

Lately, what with the advanced age and inability to attend YSA activities, I have felt really left out of things, and...lonely. Part of me feels really guilty for saying it out loud (writing it out loud), because I have a family who loves me, a great roommate, a job that I feel excited to tell people about, a ward family, and a handful of friends who are amazing. So, then, why do I feel disconnected? It could be that I work a lot and don't have a lot of free time, or that I can't join in the activities that my friends are doing, or that I haven't taken the opportunity to meet more people my age.

It is hard to embrace a feeling like loneliness, because I feel like I shouldn't be allowed to be lonely when I have all of the afore-mentioned supports. It is also hard to admit, because I think there is a perceived weakness or embarassment about having those feelings.

So. There it is. Out there in the cosmos. Please don't judge me for saying it. Please don't pity me for feeling it. And, for heaven's sake, do not try to fix me or find me someone to date. Just know I miss you if I haven't seen you for awhile, and and that I will be o.k. I am just trying to be more honest with myself and others.

An update...albeit a boring one

Once again, it has been a grotesquely long time since I last wrote. Why? Most likely because I have been pretty busy. Really! I have barely even seen Denise.

The job at the College is getting better all the time, and I am enjoying the increased pay. I think that money really will be a great substitute for love… I am finally getting all of my students’ schedules finalized, which means mine is pretty much set as well. One of the best things about this position is that there is a lot of running around, from classes to students to meetings, etc. I find I am a person who needs to move around a lot, and bouncing from thing to thing fits in perfectly with my short attention span, and the way my thoughts jump around so much. My co-workers are great, and there are already practical jokes (one including a lovely seal statue and fantastic hiding places like the mini-fridge) in the works. Our offices are still a bit hectic, as they were being painted over the summer, and we just got back into them last week. I have a desk, a phone (with a number!!), a computer, and a white/bulletin board all for me. It is so exciting to have my own office, and I am getting ready to put up pictures on my desk of various family and friends. Yeah…I am going to be one of those people! We have been ordering office supplies, and so soon my desk will be resplendent with organizational accoutrements. I am also building a great rapport with my three students. They are all pretty independent, but there are two classes that I am attending with them. In the one I went to today, we did cooking activities, and I got to take home nuts and bolts, and cracker spread. Such a hard life I lead… One of my students was quite reserved when we first met, and has taken quite awhile to open up. Today, he told me a story from Friday afternoon, when he accidentally went to the wrong class! Once he realized, he quickly got out of there and went to the right classroom. He was absolutely laughing his head off as he told me the experience, and it was so great to see him so comfortable with me and with the school. Another one of my students, after we had only met once, refused to work with me. But…I met with her a couple of times, and we went to her first class together where we played Pongee hockey (a type of floor hockey you play with foam ended sticks). It was an instant bonding experience. Things have been really good since that class!

I am still at Chapters, which is basically like my second home. It has been great getting to know the night people better, and I am glad of the second pay-check. I am planning a trip to Paris next year, and I want to have a lot saved.

Sorry this is such a boring post, I guess this is more like a journal today.

Be smart. Be happy.

Go to church…at least you’re not in Nursery!!